Blood for Oil Program a Success
Tommaso Sciortino, Non-Partisan, Vol. 12 Iss. 5
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Red Cross officials are praising their new program to refund blood donors for transporation costs. Started six months ago, the "Blood for Oil" program lets Red Cross officials pay to fill up the gas tanks of donors who contribute every six weeks.

"People love exchanging blood for oil. Really, what's a couple of pints of blood compared to a full tank of gas? Certainly no person, or even American political leader, could pass up such an incredible bargain," said one really sarcastic anti-war protester.
Top Ten Frank Sinatra Songs About Substance Abuse
  1. Fry Me To The Moon
  2. I've Got The World In A Syringe
  3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Crystal Meth
  4. It Was A Very Good Beer
  5. I've Shot You Under My Skin
  6. (Dancing) Tweak to Tweak
  7. Too Dosed For Comfort
  8. That's Crack-Whore-Ay
  9. They Can't Toke That Away From Me
  10. I Get A Kick Out Of Glue
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