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You Need to Apply Yourself, Study Finds
Results of a study conducted by researchers at the University of California at Berkeley have revealed the need, by you, to apply yourself. As a strong indicator of this need, the study cites recent slacking and an unexpected drop in study time productivity levels, which occurred shortly after the fourth week of classes, after you went to that party.
"It's something that we've all expected to see proven for quite some time," said Professor Brian Lee, a researcher on the project. "But it's reassuring to see hard numbers on the incredible amount of time you spend watching and talking about sports and video games about sports." The study, which was conducted by watching you waste your life day in and day out, cites several reasons to believe that you have so much potential. It indicates that that one project you did for your class last year really blew everyone away and showed that when you do apply yourself, there's no limit to what you can do. Also it implies that if you spent as much time worrying about your grades as you did about those stupid video games, you could actually accomplish something. |
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