Needle Lost in Haystack
Onlookers at Loss for Metaphor
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A needle was misplaced in a haystack earlier this week, setting the stage for a task which many liken to a very difficult thing to do.

"Yup. It's lost in there and finding it is going to be like trying to find a ..." began local student Mark Seifert, before trailing off. "... Well, it's going to be like, really hard."

Authorities to are at a loss to retrieve the missing item. "The small size and girth of the needle make it difficult to distinguish from the surrounding hay," commented Karen Ahn, professor of agriculture and traditional crafts. "It's going to be like ... like finding something already very small and hard to find among massive amounts of a similar but unwieldy material. I can't think of a good example."

Others seem more hopeful. Jennifer Barret, proprietor of Barret's Quality Magnets stated, "I have no idea what to do."

Top Ten Frank Sinatra Songs About Substance Abuse
  1. Fry Me To The Moon
  2. I've Got The World In A Syringe
  3. Have Yourself A Merry Little Crystal Meth
  4. It Was A Very Good Beer
  5. I've Shot You Under My Skin
  6. (Dancing) Tweak to Tweak
  7. Too Dosed For Comfort
  8. That's Crack-Whore-Ay
  9. They Can't Toke That Away From Me
  10. I Get A Kick Out Of Glue
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