The Heuristic Squelch: Dreams Throughout History

Dreams Throughout History

Tommaso Sciortino, Vol. 12 Iss. 1

Caveman times: U'tuck and I are out deer hunting but there's no deer and it's late at night. U'tuck tells me that he has an idea but he can't tell me until I push this big heavy rock over a hill. I do it, but then he says that he told me already and I feel embarrassed. Also, I realize I'm naked but that's OK because I'm always naked anyways. I get very confused and try to drink a fish.
Roman times: I'm in the temple of Venus trying to get a date for the solstice festival but it's really crowded. I realize that everything everyone says is rhyming and no matter what I say people act like what I'm saying rhymes too. I run into the coliseum and my mom is there battling a tiny dog. Someone explains that she has to do this because she didn't rhyme her words and then I spend the rest of the dream avoiding conversation and just trying to use gestures a lot.
Middle ages: I'm at the blacksmith shop and everything's normal except it's not really the blacksmith's shop, it's the chapel. Father Simone is there and he's the blacksmith but he's eating fruit. I'm trying to get my knife sharpened but Father Simone keeps on talking about how much he loves mutton tips. I try to find my knife in the back room and though I expect Father Simone to try to stop me, he just stares out the window licking his lips and muttering "Barcelona."
Industrial revolution: My shift is over and I'm trying to find my way back home. Somehow I understand that it's Christmas even though it's not snowing and so I go to the company store to purchase fancy apples. The general store is on fire but the clerk insists that it's normal and that the apples are OK because they're going to be baked anyways. I buy the apples but on the way home I realize I'm on fire too. My wife tries to put me out but we can't and we decide to just not celebrate Christmas. We sit down and play hopscotch but I get two tries since I only have one arm.
Modern Day: I'm in a breakfast store so mostly, they just sell cereal. The store is run by my mom's Chicano friends and they offer me pizza. I'm looking through all the cereals and I find one called "Pips and Dops". I inquire as to what's in it and the clerk says that it's made from the food that two separate varieties of ants bring back to their nest. I ask him what the ants eat since their food is in the cereal. He says he doesn't know so I thank Ernesto and leave the store.
Future: I'm taking a hover over to my brother's girlfriend's house to drop off some new cleaning nanos. I get there and discover that the nanos have escaped from their canister. This really old guy who reminds me of my friend's boss is there and he tells me that I should have paid more attention and that the bots have gone down a recyc-pit. I get really really afraid because apparently these nanos were very expensive and my brother meant them to be a present. I decide to spend all my credits on a transport but I take the wrong one and end up in a marching band. I find I have a flute that I haven't played since I was a kid and so I try to fake my way through a Chopin nocturne arranged by John Philip Sousa.