Art History Degree Put to Use
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Art history degree holder Stephen "Stevie" Wilson put his degree to good use this weekend when he jury-rigged it for use as a dust pan.

"These Oreo crumbs spilled every-where and Julie's been hassling me about being such a slob," said an apathetic Wilson. "I was looking for something to pick them up with when I saw my degree and I thought, 'Why not?'"

This marks the fourth time the degree has been used by Wilson. Other uses include: a prop to help solicit funds from parents; a potholder; and, in a rolled up form, a metephorical telescope used to scan the horizon for nonexistent jobs.

Top Ten Signs You Might Have Pledged a Vampire Fraternity
  1. Bloody Marys are served suspiciously warm.
  2. Brothers avoid daylight whether or not last night was a kegger.
  3. All the brothers work out, but none have mirrors in their rooms.
  4. You're the only house that never shows up to a party uninvited.
  5. Pledge scavenger hunt just involves robbing Bay Area blood banks.
  6. Guys in coffins are sleeping, not masturbating.
  7. The house has a firm rule about never letting Wesley Snipes inside.
  8. Hell Week actually takes place in Hell.
  9. Big theme party is always "Immortal Bros and Neck-Bitten Hoes."
  10. Guys seemed nervous when you suggested "Steak Night."
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