| OSLO (DS) - Former Vice President Al Gore was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize Thursday night for his work to raise awareness of global climate change. Unfortunately, the prize was taken from him moments later, when Gore was informed that although a majority of the Nobel judges had voted for him, they were presenting the award to George Bush. |
"Most of us think Al Gore is the best choice," said a Nobel judge, "but due to an outdated concession to anti-Federalist whackjobs who were refusing to ratify the constitution, we had no choice but to give it to Bush. He's okay, I guess, as a choice for the Peace Prize, right?" the judge added. "I mean, he's not the best candidate with that whole large-scale unprovoked warmongering thing, but he's not horrible. He's folksy. He's... aw hell, I'm just glad I'm a Swede."
Gore was said to be disappointed in the decision, but was unable to speak to reporters due to what his aides called "a blinding shitstorm of rage." The DS has also confirmed from first-hand accounts that Gore did indeed bite the head off his Oscar statuette and spit it at the television.
Other possible candidates for this year's Peace Prize included Not Michael Moore, The Judge Who Took Away Britney's Kids, and Saddam Hussein in recognition of his 3000% drop in murders and autocratic dictatorshipping since his death last year.