document.write('Top Ten Signs Your Tech Support is a Dominatrix');
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document.write('- Calls ctrl-alt-del the safety word');
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- Asks you to call her Mistress Susan because Mistress Siddhangana is too hard to pronounce');
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- Claims computer lacks discipline');
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- Isn\'t Indian');
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- Asks you if the printer is plugged in then shits on your chest');
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- The way she pronounces hard drive');
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- Tells you to bend over and gives you RAM');
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- A lot of instructions involve pouring hot wax on yourself');
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- You ask to speak to her supervisor and she digs her heel into your scrotum');
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- Hard to give service number while wearing ball gag');
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document.write('Lists by The Heuristic Squelch');