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I Get Arrested. A Lot.
Of all the things to get, arrested certainly isn't at the top of most people's lists. For me, I've been told it's not so much a personal shortcoming as it is an error of method. But no matter what angle you're taking, getting arrested isn't good for business. When you're an international jewel thief, that's like getting fired for a couple of years.
I mean, I've had lots of jobs, but no one wants to hear about how I worked at Valero.
Pen Pals
221B Factory Way
Shoe Factory District 4 Shoe Distribution Province 8 Malaysia 91423 9/15/2004 Dear 13-year-old Malaysian girl who made my sneakers, I've never considered myself a romantic, but I've always believed that true love can find us anywhere. You can only imagine my pleasant surprise this morning upon finding your note in my new pair of Nike Air Force Max II's. As I read your message, I felt an immediate connection to you.
The Continuing Adventures of Bi-curious Frankenstein
WOLFMAN: OK. I never...accidentally drowned a little girl while picking flowers.
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! Frankenstein have to drink AGAIN! THE MUMMY: OK, my turn. I never...made out with someone of the same sex. [Drinks] FRANKENSTEIN: Frankenstein not know GÇô does cuddling count?
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! What happen? Last thing Frankenstein remember is building beeramid!
Intelligent Life?
A Report from SETI Institute
Since the dawn of time in 1943, we at the SETI Institute have scoured the depths of the universe in hopes of finding life outside our solar system. So far we have been unsuccessful, prompting many critics to call our work trivial or useless, and others to call our work both trivial and useless. Well, fuck you crit-dicks. I am here to report that we have finally made contact with extraterrestrial beings.
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Top Ten Classes No Longer Taught at Cal
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