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The Continuing Adventures of... HALF JEW!
Throughout history, Webster's defines half-Jew as "One who is half-Jewish." What is often overlooked in this mess is what exactly this means in terms of social history. Recent anthropological and archaeological research has shed new light on prominent events in half-Jew history. We have faithfully reenacted some of these scenarios below.
The Spanish Inquisition Inquisitor: So, Jew, must we ask you to convert or do we need to torture you?
A Letter to Now Todd from Future Todd
Todd of April 2003,
This is Todd of April 2033, thirty years into the future! Don't believe me? Note that the stamps commemorate the tenth anniversary of 2023, and that the Return Address states 'The Future!' Still skeptical? The final moments of 'Swept Away' feature Madonna's heartfelt realization that she is not socially superior to her lowbrow companion. Only you and I know that, Todd. You are me and I am you, minus one leg.
Snoop Dogg in Different Wacky Situations
After winning an OscarGäó for his riveting role in Bones, one man's plight with ho pimpin' and bitch slappin':
Snoop: We goin' smoke an ounce to that! Ho: Oh Snoop, you've done it again. (round of laughter)
After winning the gold medal at the Nagano Winter Olympics: Snoop: We goin' smoke an ounce to that! Japanese Ho: Oh Snoop, you've done it again.
Childhood Jokes Rewritten as Editorial Commentary on American War Criminals
Two traveling salesmen and Henry Kissinger are walking down the road. It's getting dark, so they stop at a farmhouse. They go up to the door and ask the farmer if they can stay the night. He says yes, but they have to sleep in the barn, and they aren't allowed to touch his daughters, or undermine socialist governments in South America.
So they go to sleep, and during the night, the farmer's three daughters sneak into the barn, and the travelers can't resist, even Kissinger, though he also sneaks into the house and makes a long-distance call to a Chilean general in the middle of things. |
Top Eight Pornographic Oscar-Nominated Films
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