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Words from the Top
Welcome to the Future
There comes a time in the life of every young magazine when that magazine must learn to grow and change, when that magazine must embark upon certain rites of passage. You may have noticed certain ... changes in the Squelch of late. Better paper stock, different fonts, an awkward cracking of the voice at the most embarassing times. Such is life. This month the Squelch bursts forth upon the scene with the most startling of changes: a full-color glossy cover.
Frustrating Moments in the life of:
Tikki tikki tembo-no sa rembo-chari bari ruchi-pip peri pembo
The First Day of School
Teacher: Yi?The Answering Machine Mark: Ready to record our new outgoing message, guys?
Sketch Comedy
Man: Excuse me sir? [He is ignored.]
Man: Excuse me? Sir? Sir? John Cleese: AAAGH! Man: AGH! John Cleese: Right, right. What can I do for you then? Man: Yes, well, I was wondering if I could buy a box of cigars. John Cleese: Cigars! Of course, of course, sir. What kind would you like? Man: Well, I'm not sure, exactly, but I was looking for--
Why Cross-Country Is Not a Sport
Throughout my young life, I have been confused while reading the sports sections of many newspapers and periodicals. I get confused a lot, but in this case, it's different. Cross-country is not a sport and should no longer be recognized as one in the news. It is just plain running.
Running should only be used in three cases: (1) when you are being punished, (2) when you are being chased, and (3) to get in shape.
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Top Ten Farewell Gifts for Tom Holmoe
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