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Tomorrow's Tuesday Last Week!
Berkeley scientists recently developed an experimental time travel device, and to test its effectiveness they've created a "Study Abroad in Time" program. In this program, students volunteer to spend a semester studying at Berkeley in the future and report on their experiences. Below are selections from the journal of Time Exchange Student Matt Holohan, who spent a semester studying in the year 2030.
Words from the Top
The Gentle Jangle of Success
There is nothing more informative about a person's identity than their keys. The quantity and quality of one's keys often reflects the quality of one's life, social status, and personal pride. Below is a brief classification system based on the number of keys one owns.
One key Typically, the single key holder is young of age. The symbolic nature of the key reflects the remarkable maturation of a lad now ready to unlock the door to his own abode.
Drawn & Quartered
State quarters brought to you by the Squelch
California:
From the eager immigrants and 49ers who failed to strike gold to the would-be actresses reduced to waiting tables and turning tricks, California has been crushing the hopes and dreams of starry-eyed innocents for over a century. Now you don't have to go west to enjoy the pervasive aura of heartbreak; it comes to you on the powerfully rendered imagery of the California quarter.
Leonard & His Penis
A Tragedy in Eleven Memos
To: Leonard McAllister
From: your penis, Leonard. Subject: a little action? Leonard, this is your penis. For God's sake, man, you're twenty-two years old. I have been more than patient with you, and would very much like it if you would set me up with a nice vagina in the near future. P.S. Please reply ASAP. To: my penis From: Leonard Subject: my bad.
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Top Ten Things To Do After Receiving 30 Years To Life
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