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O-Chem: Erotica
I've had enough of all this war-mongering scientific rhetoric. After countless science lectures, I now see the blatant attempts to mask the eroticism inherently existing on the micro scale. Rather than expose our minds to the naked truth of molecules performing lewd and sexual acts, professors use barbaric language designed to train young minds to become lean, mean, asexual-fighting-machines. How often have we heard the words "the nucleophile attacks the electrophile kicking of the leaving group?"
Tricks to Play on People
That are Sure to Make You a Popular Guy
The Science Of Linguistics
An Elementary Introduction
People GÇô common folk, I mean GÇô often approach me and say to me, "Dashing Rogue Linguist, we are intrigued by you and your fair science of Linguistics GÇô comely Phonology, ravishing Morphology, and even gangly Syntax GÇô but we do not fathom it at all. We are stupid GÇô this we know GÇô but still we cannot help but wonder ... could you find it in your heart of hearts to teach us the Way of the Word?"
Words from the Top
Apolitical Commentary
Recently, some people have complained about the political content, or lack thereof, in our fine humor magazine. "Hey The Heuristic Squelch," they write, "why so little election coverage?" The simple answer is that we just don't care very much. Neither Gore or Bush would be a great president, but they also probably wouldn't screw things up too badly either, though I can't shake the feeling that Bush's election would be the political equivalent of a PE teacher being promoted to principal.
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