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Great Moments In Squelch History
March 11, 1991 - After an eight-day orgy of Winner's Cup gin, peyote, and assorted methamphetamines, the Heuristic Squelch is founded by Dave Sherman and Dan Ernst. The pair begins with only enough alcohol and peyote to last 24 hours, but somehow, the intoxicants last them eight days. Ernst and Sherman hope that the magazine will impress graduate schools and improve their chances with women.
Words from the Top
A Soul Turned To Ash
Hey Sean, I finished going through all the old issues looking for "best-of" material, and let me just say, first off, that my efforts have been nothing short of magnificent. A word like "scour" does not begin to describe the comprehensive nature of my meticulous efforts. No, my exploits are more deserving of praise and laudation centered around a word like "spelunk." I have read every word on every page of every Squelch ever printed.
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