New Meeting Room!

Max Ebert
9/7/10
History 124B

The history of the Cold War is rich in mystery and complexity. Who started the war? How close were the Russians and Americans to destroying each other? How did the war play out in the political landscapes of Third World countries? These are all challenging questions that one might ponder while chugging a Red Bull at 3 A.M. the morning before a paper demanding the answers to such questions is due.

CNN is facing steep consequences this week for airing a report which failed to meet the FCC’s mandatory Muslim otherness requirement.  During a ten-minute piece on the opening of a halal butcher shop, New York resident and practicing Muslim Mohammed Amman Hassan was shown engaging in completely average activities, including paying bills and selling meats in his new shop.  In flagrant

Controversial anthropologist George Burris released a new study Friday on the appearance of prehistoric man, advancing a theory that runs counter to Dr. Robert Figerman’s previous anthropological claim that “a Neanderthal dressed in a coat and fedora would be indistinguishable from modern man.” Burris’s report counters that it would not blend in because it would look like a complete douchebag.

“Look,” said Dr.

In response to recent allegations concerning the sources of an already-dwindling food supply, the Soylent Corporation has released a statement refuting “the heinous claims besmirching our fine and delicious product.”

At the center of the controversy is Soylent Green, the latest addition to the Soylent Co. food-like product family, with an ingredient list that includes a high-energy aquatic plankton, Green No.

After a semester of Ethnomusicology 50AC, freshman Bill Muller reports himself conclusively free of all forms of racism, sexism, classism, midgetism, and an entire spectrum of more exotic prejudices. Muller, a Sigma Phi Nu pledge and Business Administration major, says that his outlook will never be the same thanks to the three-unit pass/fail class.

"Originally I just signed up because I thought I could get an easy A for, like, listening to African drums," said Muller.