The Big Game Page
Are you ready for the 105th Big Game? Are you prepared to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the GREATEST PLAY in the history of college football? Nay, the greatest MOMENT in the history of the WORLD? As you await the sweet, sweet taste of assured, inevitable victory, allow us to prime the pump of our bottomless well of Stanford hate. So get ready to dig in to some tasty barbecued pine tree, as we roast Stanford over the flames of iniquity.
Congress Overturns Law of Cause and Effect
In a move that has shocked logicians and scientists alike, Congress has passed a ruling overturning the law of cause and effect.
Freshman Trades Sense of Identity with School Spirit
Last Tuesday, freshman Corey S. O’Malley successfully replaced the last vestiges
United States Established as Monarchy Following Gun Control
In a move widely anticipated by crackpots, President Obama seized God-like monarchical power following the passage of a new piece of gun control legislation on Tuesday.