Latest Issue!
Bear Attack

Vol. 24.0 Iss. 1.0

Available as PDF!
Top Five B-Horror Movies Based on Steinbeck Novels
  1. Beast of Eden
  2. Planet of the Apes of Wrath
  3. The Nuclear Winter of Our Discontent
  4. Cannibal Row
  5. Of Mice Men

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Great Moments in the History of Invention
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Explosives
Inventor of the Dynamite Stick: MOTHER FUCK! OH FUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING ARM IS GONE!!!
Inventor of the Dynamite Fuse: Next time, try using one of these. It’s called a fuse.
Inventor of the Dynamite Stick: Will that fix my arm??
Inventor of the Dynamite Fuse: Sure!
New Sports Store to Open in Plaza; Locals Amused
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News of a Dick's Sporting Goods opening in Anderson Central Plaza was greeted with snickers and giggles from the citizens of the East Oregon community.

"I'm sure they put a lot of thought into the process before erecting their Dick's here," local sportsman David Cannon said, while his wife choked back laughter. "I know planting a Dick's is a big deal, especially in a town like ours that's already so tight with sports stores.

Southside Terrorized By Serial Pillager
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The Berkeley Police Department has announced that there is a serial pillager on the loose in the Southside area. Victims say the pillager "rides a horse," is "about 6'4", dirty, with a long, heavy sword and big boots," and resembles "a Viking." An officer said that the serial pillager has not been apprehended, and that students should immediately call 911 if they see any suspicious characters riding on horseback with sword in hand.

Students Plan Protest for Department of Pornography
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Berkeley Students Fighting For a Department of Pornography By Any Means Necessary is planning a sit-in on Sproul Plaza next week, says President Arthur Roerbacher. The group has been waging war with campus administrators and the Board of Regents for over a year in their struggle to establish a Department of Pornography. Such a department would be the first of its kind at any college or university in the United States.
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