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Charlotte's Web

Vol. 24.0 Iss. 3.0

Available as PDF!
Top Ten Signs Your Dog Is a Self-Destructive Alcoholic
  1. He pees in public
  2. He humps anything that moves
  3. He never goes to meetings
  4. He doesn't have any money
  5. He has bad breath
  6. He passes out on the floor
  7. He pukes on the floor
  8. He's completely incoherent
  9. He spends hours with his head in the toilet
  10. He won't admit he has a problem

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Snoop Dogg in Different Wacky Situations
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After winning an OscarGäó for his riveting role in Bones, one man's plight with ho pimpin' and bitch slappin':

Snoop: We goin' smoke an ounce to that!

Ho: Oh Snoop, you've done it again. (round of laughter)


After winning the gold medal at the Nagano Winter Olympics:

Snoop: We goin' smoke an ounce to that!

Japanese Ho: Oh Snoop, you've done it again.

Something Happened in Tunisia
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Today, according to the Yahoo! News Homepage, something important happened in Tunisia.

Rescued Chilean Miners Can Finally Return to Poverty
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This weekend, after ten weeks trapped underground, 33 Chilean miners were finally brought back to the surface, and to the crushing destitution of being a Chilean miner.

Berkeley Scientists Successfully Synthesize Nothing
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In a press conference last Tuesday, scientists from the Yu-Kavinsky Research Group at UC Berkeley announced that they have successfully created nothing. The research lasted six years and required several million dollars of university funds.

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