Top Ten Board Games for Catholics
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SwordTech Inc.'s Troubleshooting Guide
Q: My sword is not cleaving through enemy hordes like it should.
Friends Worried About Joe
Local pedophile Joe Flagherty has started to lose interest in his illegal hobby and is drifting away from his pedophile friends.
Flagherty recently purchased the Sony Playstation 2 and Xbox game consoles to add to his colorful candy-filled living room, which he has dubbed "the rosebud trap" for its propensity to attract neighborhood boys. But he's found himself more than a little distracted by his newest baits.
Student Tires of Philosophy-major Girlfriend
Michael Nash, a third-year Berkeley student, has decided to end his eight-month relationship with Jamie Peters, a second-year Berkeley student and philosophy major.
"I just can't take it anymore," Nash lamented to a close friend. "Every time I ask her a simple question, like whether or not she is going to her discussion, she goes into a fifteen-minute rant about Descartes and some shit like that.
Mel Gibson Probably Anti-Semitic
With the success of his latest hit, The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson is already working on a new religious thriller entitled Jews Murdered Jesus.
"While The Passion was quite an undertaking, I still feel like I need to drive home the point with this new movie that Jews really did murder Jesus," Gibson said.
The plot of the new movie is to be based around how the