Congratulations! You've just had sex with me.
Wow. I…was…amazing. Did you see me? I was like the champagne of sex-having. I got all up in there. I built a
Insignificant Life Now Self-Consciously Insignificant
Student Kevin Petit, 22, had always led a shallow, empty life devoid of any true pleasures, notable accomplishments, spiritually fulfilling experiences, or emotionally meaningful interpersonal relationships. Since September 11, however, the crushing emptiness of Petit's life has become more painfully apparent than ever.
Before the calamitous events in New York and Washington, Petit was more or
Justice League Offers Support to U.S.
In a unanimous vote, Green Lantern, Superman, Batman, Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Plastic Man, Flash, and Aquaman have decided to offer support to the U.S. effort to combat global terrorism. "We helped rebuild Metropolis from rubble when it was destroyed, and even when Gotham was abandoned by the government, we remained vigilant against outside forces who sought to exploit the situation," said Superman in a statement broadcast from Justice League Headquarters on the moon.
Nightlife Environmentally Safe
Clubber Hugo Siriani disturbed patrons of a southern Florida dance club last week when he entered a club wearing vinyl pants and a fishnet shirt. Siriani had been spotted throughout the week sporting the revealing white fishnet shirt over his rock hard pectoral muscles. Concerned citizens worried that Siriani's provocative attire might present a hazard to nightlife in the club environment. Some pointed out that the outfit could accidentally entrap unsuspecting dancers, who could slide up his vinyl pants and become entangled in the fishnet shirt while dancing.