Top Ten Signs Your Roommate Is an Old Delta Bluesman
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The Heuristic Squelch meets Mondays at 5pm in 201 Wheeler!
HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ADDERALL?
Link Stockton, Drug Dealer
What’s got two thumbs and wants to help you graduate college?
Students Plan Protest for Department of Pornography
Berkeley Students Fighting For a Department of Pornography By Any Means Necessary is planning a sit-in on Sproul Plaza next week, says President Arthur Roerbacher. The group has been waging war with campus administrators and the Board of Regents for over a year in their struggle to establish a Department of Pornography. Such a department would be the first of its kind at any college or university in the United States.
Charlie Sheen was Right about Everything
In what can only be described as a surprising turn of events, actor and former drug addict Charlie Sheen was right about everything he has declared in the past several weeks.
In response to what had previously been considered exaggerated claims, President Obama has now appointed an emergency panel of biologists, engineers, chemists, and ethicists to asses the full implications of the newly discovered superbeing.
New "Mouth-Handjob" Theorized
A press release from the Vatican announced Monday that cardinals researching in the field of theoretical deviance have hypothesized the existence of a "mouth-handjob," a sexual act unlike any currently recognized by Vatican law.
"Imagine if you will a type of handjob performed, not with the hand, but with some other part of the human anatomy: to wit, the mouth," stated Cardinal Ludwig of the Vatican's Center for Sexual Studies.